I had been so busy, no time to be, to relax and to slow down. It has felt this way for a year now….since I moved into this flat in Mumbai….today I woke up with clarity to let it go. Working from home and for yourself and living alone can do that to you. I have been so committed and with wanting everything to happen yesterday, I have been working on my book, my virtual coach software with my partners in Canada and Singapore, finishing my Newfield Ontological training, coaching my current personal clients and developing and filming for my youtube channel along with writing articles for various publications and developing modules for corporates and education non-stop. I woke up and I slept constantly connected to my blackberry which never stopped because I communicate internationally, someone is always awake.
*be – lots about “being” in my upcoming book
I didn’t realise that I did not stop til yesterday when a friend called and til yesterday I was hardly accepting personal calls, except from parents, brothers and daughter and when he asked me how I was, and I said busy, he said, but you are always busy…..I worked and I went to the gym and that’s about it with the occasional weekend out, but then too very conscious about having to wake up early the next day….my computer on all day and my projects brewing all night…
It hit me….I was living a contradiction to what I declared I wanted to do. I guess it was exactly what I needed for the past year….finishing a 66,000++ word personal development book is a project that took its own life… and I spent the year establishing my practice internationally whilst settling into India. I also achieved my PCC (professional certified coach credentials) But this morning, I exhaled…. Phew….
I guess the exhilaration of finishing the book is slowly seeping into my body.
And today, after I decided what I am doing for now, I feel like I am on holiday, not something I have been OK to do guiltlessly….so here it is, my time to be on a bit of a holiday, (don’t worry, my dear clients and readers – my coaching and writing won’t stop… I am here for you and I am sure you will appreciate the “lightness” I will bring to our calls henceforth!)
Yesterday I received an email from Higher Awareness, this is one of the inspirational websites I subscribe to that always seem like they are talking to JUST me. Like they have been put on the Universe for me, have you ever felt that?
“One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms.
— Morris L. West
The insight I got yesterday was that my attachment to earning money for a false sense of security that I would get from a home and material possessions was what was keeping me from flying. Literally!
What security was I chasing when I have been so blessed with wings and again I am on the crest and I am gonna jump and soar….and the friendships and connections that matter and are real are never dependent on time or space. Staying in one space and stagnating will only turn them into habits, obligations and neediness….some of my closest connections are with people the furthest away from me. Some of my
dearest friends, who live down the road, I hardly see, because they live down the road…..
Looking forward to spending a lot more time with you … (xx – you know who you are!!!)
Today, I woke up realizing that it is time to travel light again…
I had the epiphany and made some decisions… I’m going to be traveling for a few months off and on and also baby-sitting my dearest friend’s son for a week, …and I want to visit parents and my brother and his new dog “Destiny” Feels like Destiny is calling! All the work I am doing I can do from anywhere in the world as long as I have internet and a keyboard. (time to buy an iPad too I think)
And I guess the biggest sign came to me when after all the apartments I had seen were just not happening, then I saw one I liked, and the owner-dude declined my offer, because I’m a single woman in the city……I guess Sex And The City – Carrie kind of independence only exists in Manhattan!!! So instead of being disappointed or annoyed, I smiled and decided, I am going to vagabond again for a few months til I find inspiration…this time with ease and grace….gratefully. Funny how when a circumstance was put onto me, I complained about it and now choosing the same predicament, I am rejoicing it!!! 🙂
“Many people think that by hoarding money they are gaining safety for themselves. If money is your ONLY hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a person can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Without these qualities, money is practically useless.”
— Henry Ford
Talk about perspective……a year ago, I remember complaining that I had been vagabonding and living out of a suitcase (ok a few suitcases) and that I needed a home, a bed-side table to place my journal and pen and eye-cream,……of my own….and when speaking to my brother, he reminded me to be careful what I wished for because a “Global best-selling-international author and speaker lives out of a suitcase”
I have also been referred to as a Gypsy many years ago and I think I have always had the heart of a gypsy but then societal norms and the need for “false security” and maybe being an Eatery Taurean, I have always thought I needed a home and I have been ungrateful for so much that I have, because I didn’t have a space of my own.
Today I am at the same crossroad, having just finished the book and with travel plans all the way up til July at least, I don’t need a home again…. I am growing and changing and I need to be free again…I do see staying on now in Bandra in Mumbai and doing more of the same as “stagnating” Today a friend of mine told me he was happy for me that I had rediscovered my gypsy! 🙂
As I was typing this, my dearest and oldest friend Kiran called and I told her all and she laughed with me as she remembered me saying this back when I was in school over 25 years ago… that I wanted to live out of a suitcase. So she was so so happy for me and honestly said “WOW”! Wow that you can!!!
Once again, the world is my oyster.
Another dear friend of mine reminded me that a wise man once said..’travel light’ on a holiday and in life..:)
Yes I’ve done that before…..thought I was done…but guess not yet!
I envision LOTS of travel this year, especially with the launch of the book nationally for sure and internationally as well…..so I might as well be as light as I can.
Selling furniture ….making myself light! Feel like I rediscovered my Gypsy heart… 🙂 I’m feeling great, so it has to be right. Took me long enough to come to this space…of clarity..I had been plugging in and praying for clarity for a few weeks now. I was holding on to weight all kinds of weight! For no reason but a sense of security which I don’t need as I KNOW now that the only security is my sense of inner faith and knowing that I am always cradled and blessed….. I have wings… I fly…..Malti Bhojwani – resident of the world, citizen of the Universe…
