We can’t not do stuff, we can’t just stop it, (though I JUST LOVE Bob Newhart’s video – Stop It – link below if you haven’t already watched it)
We need to replace things. Think of your time and your mind as a space that needs to be filled 100%, like even a half empty-half full glass is not really empty, it is half filled with water and half filled with air. So, when you want to stop doing or thinking something, you need to make it easier for yourself by consciously and decisively replacing the thought or habit with something else. Because it takes time to replace habits, especially neurological ones, it makes sense to carefully select a truly empowering habit to replace the old ones with.
In your relationships especially as a parent, the same trick works wonders but you need to add an extra step which is adding the reason, instead of telling your child not to scream, request him or her to speak sweetly so you can understand them better. Instead of asking your friend not to be late, request them to be early so that you can be on time. Getting it?
In fact someone recently made fun of me because he felt I was using Negative language and called myself a professional coach trained in Ontological Coaching and in NLP, and yet my previous book is titled “Don’t Think of a Blue Ball”, well, I guess he didn’t “get it”.
Easy stuff, just practice and please share your examples.
Don’t Talk *** Sit Quietly for a 5 minutes
Don’t Smoke *** Let’s be really healthy and avoid all forms of carcinogenics for a week
Don’t eat fattening food *** I’m eating fresh & light food this month
Don’t irritate me *** Please talk facing me without gum in your mouth
Don’t be late *** Please be there at 1:55, so we can start on time
I don’t want to think about him/her *** I am focusing on my talents and work
I won’t get drunk *** I will sleep sober to wake up without a headache tomorrow.
I don’t want to be so moody and depressed *** I will practice smiling and thinking of fun stuff
Don’t make a mess *** Please keep the place neat and tidy
I don’t want to fail *** I will succeed
I’m not good enough, fit enough, rich enough *** I am good enough
I’m fat *** I am becoming healthier and more fit each day
I won’t spend so much *** I will practice mindful sharing of my resources
Don’t Think of a Blue Ball *** Think of a Red Balloon
These are just a few examples of how you can successfully replace disempowering habits in your life and habits in your self – talk.
Please share your examples.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17GlCzXOYQvyNTXO8bt2hNKIp1300P4q)
