What I wrote in the last post was about how to deal with situations that have caused hurt but what about hurt that’s riding with you on your back since a very long time? That baggage has to leave you otherwise it will only weigh you down every time baggage is added to it. Soon you wont be able to carry it and it will start percolating inside your body in the form of ailments and diseases. Get rid of it with immediate effect. Here’s a process you can follow.
Cleansing process
All of us need some kind of closure or settlement for some problems in our minds. We may not have been able to react or give it back optimally at the right time, therefore we carried baggage and now its too late to face the person who wronged us. This is a situation all of us find ourselves in, but you don’t have to live with it for the rest of your lives. You have the power, even today, to give it, that closure. If you follow this process in earnest you will be able to rid yourself of a lot of pent up emotions and therefore physical ailments arising out of it.
Step 1. Accept that there’s a problem
Every negative emotion has a root somewhere. Eg If you are angry with someone for years, you have to realize that this situation needs to be taken care of. Or if your predominant emotion is jealously, you have to realize that you need to deal with it. This realization or acceptance that there is some problem is already half the battle won because most of us live in denial.
Step 2. Identify the problem
Lets say you are angry with someone for last 15 years and you accept that this needs a solution, because its hurting you deep inside, and you are unable to forgive, then the next step is to find the root cause of that anger. Ask yourself questions :
* am I angry with myself for letting it pass?
* am I angry with the person because they harmed me?
*am I angry because they hurt my ego?
*was it my dignity that was at stake?
*was it worth keeping so much anger inside me for so long?
*what were the reasons that made me angry, so angry that it stayed with me for so long?
Once you have successfully identified those reasons, face them, embrace them. Don’t be embarrassed to find a solution. You have to learn to look at each problem in the eye and say “Problem here I come, now lets sit across and beat it down”. Most of us run away from our problems/challenges. This ‘pushing it under the carpet,’ syndrome, all of us suffer from, but imagine a carpet that becomes a mountain soon.
Step 3. Talk it out with someone
Take it out of your system, by pouring it out to a close confidante. Don’t be scared of tears or emotional outburst. It will happen. We don’t like to see ourselves as weak. This happens specially with men. Societal conditioning expects them to be the strong guy, who never cries, or never lets emotion gets the better of him, but its ok to get emotional. Its ok to shed a tear or two. Not comfortable with shedding tears, its fine, but atleast talk it out. You don’t even know how much harm, pent up emotions can cause. Throw the muck out and lead a clean life. A beautiful human being like you doesn’t deserve this toxicity inside them.
Another solution: not comfortable with talking about it to someone, no problem.
When there is no one around, summon your own friend/mother from inside of you. That friend/mother is your soul (your guardian voice), its like a genie, you call upon it and its there, in whichever form you want.
Talk about it with this friend/mother of yours. Either loudly or in your mind. Identify those milestones during which these episodes occurred in your life that gave you pain. Mentally visualize that milestone. If it hurt you so much, it has to be very vivid in your memory, sob like a baby if you have to. Go there, don’t fear, just go there, you have the strongest person with you, now no one can hurt you. Hang around there, allow the mother, (this entity) to hug you, tell you that it is over and its the past. She will tell you to burn those memories to ashes, and those ashes will help germinate the best saplings in your mind. Allow her to tell you to learn your lesson, to retaliate optimally when you should, so you can avoid that baggage.
Don’t try and snap out of it immediately. Let it linger if it has to. Give yourself time, you have just cleansed yourself of so much baggage.
After you feel lighter, either meditate or do the activity that you like doing best.
About the Author – Rashmi Joshi aka “Moksha”
Having meandered through life doing what I was ‘SUPPOSED TO’, I finally realized my calling- writing about how to derive those all important lessons that our souls were meant to. Fuelled by the desire to ‘learn as I lived’ had me writing original quotable quotes by grade 8.
I hold a masters degree in Labour Law, an MBA in HR and along side trained in classical singing, which I pursued for 24 years.
I have written a book on Practical Philosophy that helps people learn to live successfully, make wise choices and get rich by earning pearls of wisdom.
For more on detoxing and cleansing see Julie Sam’s article as posted in the Asian Age where she quoted several life coaches including Malti.
“Physically detoxing is relatively easy: Consuming fresh fruits and vegetables, eliminating caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or other mood-altering substances is what is required. But detoxing mentally and emotionally involves a whole lot more, says life coach Malti Bhojwani. She advises eliminating negative conversations of any form, refraining from complaining, whining, criticising, gossiping, lying and thinking/talking unpleasantly about oneself.
“You need to choose carefully and mindfully, your thoughts, refrain from arguments,” she adds. “Smile, be mindful and do one thing at a time, focusing all your attention on that one thing alone.”
http://www.asianage.com/life-and-style/take-step-back-and-detox-989
