Archive for July, 2013

THE ICF – Why work with an ICF Coach trained in Ontological Coaching

July 28, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments
ICF  International Coach Federation

ICF
International Coach Federation

 

International Coach Federation

Life coaching is a future-focused practice with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals

Some of the ICF 11 Core Competencies

PCC Coaches display a strong competency of these through almost 1000 hours of coaching

Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards

Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client

Ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust. Including – Asking permission to coach client in sensitive, new areas.

Coaching Presence

Ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident even over the phone. Accesses own intuition and trusts one’s inner knowing – “goes with the gut”

Active Listening

Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.

Attends to the client and the client’s agenda, and not to the coach’s agenda for the client,

Hears the client’s concerns, goals, values and beliefs about what is and is not possible,

Distinguishes between the words, the tone of voice, and the body language,

Summarizes, paraphrases, reiterates, mirrors back what client has said to ensure clarity and understanding,

Encourages, accepts, explores and reinforces the client’s expression of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs, suggestions, etc.,

Integrates and builds on client’s ideas and suggestions,

“Bottom-lines” or understands the essence of the client’s communication and helps the client get there rather than engaging in long descriptive stories,

Allows the client to vent or “clear” the situation without judgment or attachment in order to move on to next steps.

Powerful Questioning

Ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client.

Asks questions that reflect active listening and an understanding of the client’s perspective,

Direct Communication – Ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact on the client.

Is clear, articulate and direct in sharing and providing feedback,

Reframes and articulates to help the client understand from another perspective what he/she wants or is uncertain about,

Clearly states coaching objectives, meeting agenda, purpose of techniques or exercises,

Uses language appropriate and respectful to the client (e.g., non-sexist, non-racist, non-technical, non-jargon),

Uses metaphor and analogy to help to illustrate a point or paint a verbal picture.

 

Creating Awareness – Ability to integrate and accurately evaluate multiple sources of information, and to make interpretations that help the client to gain awareness and thereby achieve agreed-upon results.

Goes beyond what is said in assessing client’s concerns, not getting hooked by the client’s description,

Invokes inquiry for greater understanding, awareness and clarity,

Identifies for the client his/her underlying concerns, typical and fixed ways of perceiving himself/herself and the world, differences between the facts and the interpretation, disparities between thoughts, feelings and action,

Helps clients to discover for themselves the new thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, emotions, moods, etc. that strengthen their ability to take action and achieve what is important to them,

Communicates broader perspectives to clients and inspires commitment to shift their viewpoints and find new possibilities for action,

Helps clients to see the different, interrelated factors that affect them and their behaviors (e.g., thoughts, emotions, body, background),

Expresses insights to clients in ways that are useful and meaningful for the client,

Identifies major strengths vs. major areas for learning and growth, and what is most important to address during coaching,

Asks the client to distinguish between trivial and significant issues, situational vs. recurring behaviors, when detecting a separation between what is being stated and what is being done.

Designing Actions – Ability to create with the client opportunities for ongoing learning, during coaching and in work/life situations, and for taking new actions that will most effectively lead to agreed-upon coaching results.

Brainstorms and assists the client to define actions that will enable the client to demonstrate, practice and deepen new learning,

Helps the client to focus on and systematically explore specific concerns and opportunities that are central to agreed-upon coaching goals,

Engages the client to explore alternative ideas and solutions, to evaluate options, and to make related decisions,

Promotes active experimentation and self-discovery, where the client applies what has been discussed and learned during sessions immediately afterwards in his/her work or life setting,

Celebrates client successes and capabilities for future growth,

Challenges client’s assumptions and perspectives to provoke new ideas and find new possibilities for action,

Advocates or brings forward points of view that are aligned with client goals and, without attachment, engages the client to consider them,

Helps the client “Do It Now” during the coaching session, providing immediate support,

Encourages stretches and challenges but also a comfortable pace of learning.

Planning and Goal Setting – Ability to develop and maintain an effective coaching plan with the client.

Consolidates collected information and establishes a coaching plan and development goals with the client that address concerns and major areas for learning and development,

Creates a plan with results that are attainable, measurable, specific and have target dates,

Makes plan adjustments as warranted by the coaching process and by changes in the situation,

Helps the client identify and access different resources for learning (e.g., books, other professionals),

Identifies and targets early successes that are important to the client.

Managing Progress and Accountability – Ability to hold attention on what is important for the client, and to leave responsibility with the client to take action.

Clearly requests of the client actions that will move the client toward their stated goals,

Demonstrates follow through by asking the client about those actions that the client committed to during the previous session(s),

Acknowledges the client for what they have done, not done, learned or become aware of since the previous coaching session(s),

Effectively prepares, organizes and reviews with client information obtained during sessions,

Keeps the client on track between sessions by holding attention on the coaching plan and outcomes, agreed-upon courses of action, and topics for future session(s),

Focuses on the coaching plan but is also open to adjusting behaviors and actions based on the coaching process and shifts in direction during sessions,

Is able to move back and forth between the big picture of where the client is heading, setting a context for what is being discussed and where the client wishes to go,

Promotes client’s self-discipline and holds the client accountable for what they say they are going to do, for the results of an intended action, or for a specific plan with related time frames,

Develops the client’s ability to make decisions, address key concerns, and develop himself/herself (to get feedback, to determine priorities and set the pace of learning, to reflect on and learn from experiences),

Positively confronts the client with the fact that he/she did not take agreed-upon actions.

Ontological Coaching:

Ontological Coaching is a method co-developed by Julio Olalla, the founder of Newfield Network. It taps deeply into inner awareness and potential and helps people to develop new ways of seeing life.

Newfield’s approach is truly “ontological” with deep and balanced learning in the domains of language, moods/emotions, and body. With the support of our global community, your learning begins in conferences, continues through credentialing, and lasts a lifetime.

All the facets of your life and relationships are examined. Once you can see an issue in a new way, as a “new observer,” you find new methods of dealing with that issue. This is a “whole-body” coaching method.

Book a Session with Malti
http://maltibhojwani.com/session.html

 

The best way to understand the true value and potential benefits of coaching is to experience it personally. Reading about how to ride a bicycle and riding one are two different things.
The session will support you in clarifying a way forward, overcoming your challenges. and get you moving towards your goals.

A session with Malti includes one power coaching CALL and a week of unlimited email support for $250
1 Power Coaching Call (Confidential and personalised)

UNLIMITED email support for a week

If you decide to sign up for a coaching package, this fee can be deducted and this call considered your first call.

1 Month’s Coaching Package  (includes 4 calls and unlimited email support between the calls – US$570

Upon purchase you will receive your Homework email, which needs to be completed prior to the scheduled call
On the allotted time, the phone session will be conducted by Malti and email support provided by her personally for a week.

“Happy Talk and Happy Thoughts” Negative thoughts are BAD for you – Think happy thoughts and use happy talk to attract positivity by Malti Bhojwani – Professional Certified Life Coach & Author

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

“Happy Talk and Happy Thoughts” Negative thoughts are BAD for you – Think happy thoughts and use happy talk to attract positivity

Your natural state is health and well-being, and this is promoted and maintained by positive energy, positive thoughts, positive talk and good feelings. Negative energy is simply not good for you. It causes tiredness, irritability, illness and disease. If it’s in your system, it needs to be eliminated and to be kept out. I believe the only way to keep it out is to replace it with positive thoughts and words. You cannot “not think of a blue ball”. You have to think of a yellow ball.

 

Because of the close connection between your mind and your feelings, you have to choose and decide now in this instant to think happy thoughts use positive words and therefore feel good. It is your feelings that will attract more and more of the same.

The first thing to do is to change your feelings. To do this, first, start by thinking about times in your life when you were happy.

 

Look for photos that will remind you of those times. Be careful to only LOOK for the happy moments.

Think of people and things that make you happy, something you bought recently, something you want to buy, if you are a client of MCI, then you can look at your vision board or your pleasure lists. Watch what you say in all your conversations, choose to say only the happy stuff. Monitor yourself complaning and change course. Let it rest, the complaints, think happy thoughts and talk happy words.

 

When you start thinking and feeling happy, you will find that you can imagine and think of more and more happy and fun thoughts, fantasies for the future or memories from the past, hopes and desires. Once you fill your head with positive and pleasant thoughts, there will be less and less “space” for anything negative.

What you are doing is developing a positive attitude, you can sit there and expect everything to go wrong, or you can expect everything to go right. Based on the facts you have, (or what you think are the facts) let’s just say that there is a 50/50% chance of things going either way. Your expecting it to go the “wrong” way, is not going to make things any better for you, however, if you expect them to go the positive way and for things to work out, no matter what, then your positive expectations, will help you BE who you need to BE in order to DO the stuff that will help you HAVE what you desire.

 

Read, “Be, Do, Have” link below.

 

A fabulous by-product of having a positive attitude is that people around you notice the change in attitude and join in with positive thoughts of their own. Just like they join you when you are thinking negative ones. When I was ill last week and complaining about my fall and my tooth and my throat, I attracted and invited people around me to share their aches and pains as well. Same way, when we think and say happy things, people will share their wins and joys as well.

 

Even if you feel silly at first for thinking only positively, keep at it, it will become a habit. Would you rather look good and “smart” or would you rather be happy? Often, we don’t want to share the cheer and positivity because we think people will laugh and scoff at us and say we are airy-fairy people from lala land, get over that need to “fit-in”, it is far more empowering to be positive and happy even if we end up looking “foolish” to some. See, when you are going against the tide (most people are still quite happy being “normal”, “sane”, “negative”) (they call it being practical)  – when you are going against the tide, yes it is a little more challenging. A great analogy I like to use is to imagine yourself walking on the beach towards the water with the waves coming in against you, it is far easier to do this when you are holding hands with someone or a group of people.

 

This is a habit that needs to be cultivated, it does feel unnatural at first, it can even feel silly. But the benefits will make it all worth while in the end. Let’s not go into the whys and the reasons, but most of us are more comfortable thinking negatively and complaining, it is just a disempowering habit we need to replace. Happy thoughts and happy talk!

Remember the old song from South Pacific?

 

Happy talk, keep talkin’ happy talk,

Talk about things you’d like to do.

You got to have a dream,

If you don’t have a dream,

How you gonna have a dream come true?

 

So yes, for some, forcing yourself to think fun, happy, positive and good thoughts will help you FEEL good and that will snowball and attract more and more good feelings. Hire a life coach for 90 days to support you in monitoring your thoughts and your words to keep them happy!

Imagine how much happier you would be if you were addicted to good stuff? by Malti Bhojwani – Professional Certified Life Coach & Author

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

Imagine how much happier you would be if you were addicted to good stuff?

We all need a buzz in our life. It can help deal with anything from stress to boredom. Whatever turns us on, everyone feels the desire sometimes to indulge themselves and take a break from reality.

 

Anything from sex to shopping, gaming to gambling, drink or drugs.Sadly, many don’t realise this until it’s too late to quit. By then, the buzz has become a way of life: an addiction.An addiction is a compulsion to use a substance or persist with a certain behaviour in order to feel good or to avoid feeling bad. It can dominate your mind, and keep you coming back for more, while some habits can also create a constant craving in your body. An addiction is different for everyone, depending on your vice and the kind of person you are.Does your addiction infringe on your time together with your partner?

 

Does it affect the intimacy you share with them?Does it make you lie and hide from your partner?Does it create erratic mood-swings that the people around you have to put up with?If you answered yes to any of these, then perhaps your addiction is ….hmmmmm….not bad, but perhaps not congruent with the rest of the things you want in your life.The only way to change that is to find new things to get addicted to.Imagine if, you can (and you can!) choose activities or substances to deliberately “get addicted” to that will in fact IMPROVE your sense of well-being and your health?

 

What if you addiction actually enhanced the lives of the people you love and your own? What if you had addictions and habits that if done often, in fact even MORE would only bring you closer to the people around you, make you feel and look better?One that I have recently come up with to replace one of my addictions which was a “hand-to-mouth” action like eating chocolate, �is drinking water. No jokes, sounds simple, but I feel like a water-druggie now. I have to have a 1-litre bottle with me at all times!!!!

 

Can you think of a few useful addictions? Healthy addictions? Inclusive addictions?Please share!!!

Try only being on one side of the fence. by Malti Bhojwani – Professional Certified Life Coach & Author

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

For this one week, try only being on one side of the fence.

EIther you like something or you don’t – no wishy washiness.

 

Yes or No.

Black or White

 

Like or Don’t like

Amazing or Crap

 

Get it?

 

You can either be in a space of complete and implicit Trust or Doubt.

When there is an iota of doubt, there is NO TRUST.

 

Faith is the hostess who does not entertain doubt.

 

When you believe 100%, there can be magic, put a drop of doubt in and you take away all magic.

 

You can either come from LOVE or FEAR, there is no middle ground

 

Either you Do something or you don’t do something, there is no TRY.

 

Try standing up now, if youw ere sitting, right now as you read this, so are you still sitting or are you standing? There is no try, either you stood up or you are sitting.

 

You either respect someone or you totally invalidate them, there is no halfway again.

 

You can be telling the truth, or you are lying, again there is no half way.

 

You can take things lightly or really heavy – nothing really matters or everything matters.

 

You can complain or you can be grateful!

 

Either you appreciate the people and situation around you, even the weather, or you are ungrateful for it.

 

You can look at every situation as a punishment from God or a reward.

 

You can look at it as a problem or a beautiful opportunity to create more change!

 

It is up to you! You DECIDE! You Choose.

 

Get off the fence, choose one way or another. Even if it is the figurative picket fence you are seated on. 😛

 

Have fun with it. Please share your experiences!

Malti

If I could drop a dress size in less than 60days – so can you! – revisit by Malti Bhojwani – Professional Certified Life Coach & Author

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

If I could drop a dress size in less than 60days – so can you! – revisit

Fat1

I wrote this article about 2 years ago when I wanted to lose weight and a handful of my clients were also trying to lose weight.

 

Two years later, I kept the weight off, in fact I now weigh a steady 45kgs, however I feel like the recent indulgence around my birthday celebrations and then falling sick because of too much celebrating made me pick up a few extra inches that I don’t want. So, I am at it again, now to lose inches, not so much kilos and again I am working with many men and women who have weight goals.

 

I am writing today to share some more of my tips that work. How often have you seen men and women walking, exercising, “dieting” and yet you can see little or no results?

 

How many of you go to the gym, have consulted with a nutritionist, watch your food intake and exercise so carefully, yet you are not as slim or lean as you want to be?

 

I am not a personal trainer or a nutritionist however my 12-week program does work! It works on my self and on my clients.

 

Email me if you would like to sign up for either the 12 week phone coaching program called.

Apart from the mindset-change, determination, understanding your motivation and getting all your “parts” to be aligned which is how I support you as a life coach, I also hold you accountable to doing what you commit to doing and I support you in making strong declarations and decisions.

 

A few tried and tested practical tips that I use myself are:

 

  • Take out the added sugar completely. No soft drinks. No juices. Reduce alcohol to once a week

 

  • Walk for 45 minutes to an hour every day (6 days a week min)

 

  • Drink water – lots of water

 

  • 45 to 60 minutes resistance training, I love Pilates and I go to: The Pilates Studio in Santa Cruz when in Mumbai:

 

 

  • Think, walk, and be slim.
  • Stock the refrigerator and home with what you believe a slim person would.

 

  • Eat breakfast

 

  • Eat protein after resistance training

 

  • Liquid diet once a week

 

And so much more…but I would need you to sign up for more of my Secrets! J

 

If I say so myself, I just turned 40 and I have never been healthier!

 

Below is the article I wrote 2 year ago:

 

When I wanted to lose weight, I realized that I had to start behaving the way slim people did.

 

I have read in countless books how we should emulate successful people to become successful. Why re-invent the wheel?

 

We are encouraged to read the books of people like Richard Branson, Bill Gates and George Soros to learn how to become wealthy.

 

You can’t do what you always did to get a different result. I used to be very over-confident thinking I could eat what I liked and not exercise and still have the body I coveted. Seeing the kilos pile on slowly but surely and my clothes getting tighter to the point of having to go up a size, I realized that I had to change my strategy.

 

So, I started watching what my slimmer and healthier friends did.

I almost started to walk in their shadow. I started to shop for groceries like a slim person did. I dressed and walked the way slim people did, bought tracksuits and sneakers though I was not sure what exercise I was going to do. I decided I had to act the part. Fake it before I made it. Behave and look like a slim and healthy woman in order to become one myself.

 

I had always been the biggest couch potato. Sitting in front of the TV with a bag of salt and vinegar chips and a glass of wine. Most of my friends from decades ago would be able to tell you how I would feign sickness several times a week just to get away from doing any sports or physical fitness at school. In my school report cards, they declared me “Obese”.

 

I was the laziest person ever. If you have read my article on the law of attraction, you would know that I have a parking God that always gets me a parking spot just in front of wherever I needed to go, ensuring that I never had to walk anywhere.

 

But something happened, I literally made a decision one day that I wanted to drop a size by July 1st this year and I have already met and surpassed my personal goal and so have some of my clients.

 

I think a strong motivation for me was in having to walk the talk. I had to be authentic. I could not coach people into exercising and discipline if I did not practice it myself.

 

I performed an easy NLP technique on myself called “parts-integration” where I was able to establish congruency between all my “parts”. Without meaning to trivialize the issue, I used to feel that I had conflicting parts. A part of me wanted to eat like a glutton and another part of me wanted to be slim. Through NLP, I was able to merge the parts in the knowledge that all parts of me wanted the same thing for me – joy and peace.

 

Then came the bigger question, what would give me that peace? In this regard, I was able to establish that the eating was only going to give me momentary gratification or pleasure, while the dropping a dress size was hooked to so many other feelings of well being and joy.

 

I knew that achieving that would help me feel more confident and look better. I know that a lot of my daily frustration lay in trying to select something to wear twice a day and then looking at myself in the mirror, breathing my tummy in and still feeling extremely upset at the way I looked. I would have to change several times till I found something that looked the least fattening. Just the thought of being able to get rid of this frustration was enough of a motivation for me.

 

I got to the bottom of WHY I wanted to drop a size – to FEEL good about myself everyday. That was what made it easy to change my lifestyle. The other very important NLP suggestion is to phrase the goal in the positive. The human brain does not want to “lose” anything, not even weight. So, affirming that I want to lose weight, will not have the same power as saying instead, “I fit in a size 6” or “I am a 46kgs”. I started to visualise myself in “slim-clothes” and looking great. The vision I had of myself in my mind’s eye was like a magnet for me.

 

The instant I made the decision, everything that used to seem so difficult and tiresome, became so easy to do. Very soon after, shopping and cooking healthy for myself and committing time everyday to exercise became a habit. I started thinking, acting and being slim.

 

I dropped 1.5 dress sizes or 6kilos in that time. I am very happy with my accomplishment.

This feels more like a benchmark of my strength and discipline to me than anything else I have done. Walking on fire, and jumping off a 10-foot-pole was nothing compared to this.

Now my affirmation is “If I could do this (drop a size in 2 months), I can do anything”

 

The confidence that this has given me is amazing.

 

If you would like to take on my 60-day challenge and lose kilos and inches, sign me up as your coach and let’s see if we can get you here too.

How To Improve Your Body Image – as featured in the Times of India

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

Your body image is in your head and not your body. There have been many large movements internationally to help people re-learn that a great body image is not about having a stereotypically thin body or a six-pack. Sure if that is really what you are striving towards for yourself, then I believe that you can achieve that too, but whatever you look like on the outside, the true conquering of your self esteem and body image is in the way you think and talk to yourself and in how you feel on the inside.Read on to find out how you too can improve your body image.

 

 

How healthy is your body image?

 

Firstly ask yourself how many things and activities are you stopping yourself from enjoying because of the way you feel about your body? For instance: I did not learn to swim as a child and had always skipped my physical fitness classes in school because I did not want to be seen in a swimsuit or in shorts.

 

Your life is not a dress-rehearsal for when you have lost 10 kilos, have a flatter tummy or a smaller behind. Each minute, day, week that you spend in this “wait” is gone and if your body image is keeping your form living your life now, then you really have to do something about the image.

 

 

5 easy steps to do just that:

 

Step 1: Write a list of all the things that you love about yourself, inside and out. Are you fun, funny, loyal? Do you have beautiful eyes, hair, teeth? Remind yourself daily by looking at this list that here are the things that make you truly attractive. Dwelling on the things you don’t like will only drag you down. When I lose weight, then I will be beautiful. If I can just get my abs toned, then I can wear that short choli or a bikini. All this is waiting, start knowing and feeling gorgeous now.

 

Step 2: Show love to your body by indulging in pleasurable activities. Get a massage, to let your senses reconnect with your body. Buy lotions that feel and smell good and spend time each day, loving your body. Go for a pedicure or facial and truly love your skin. Regular massages can really help you heal your senses and connect positive feelings with your body.

 

Step 3: Challenge yourself to do one thing every week that you were waiting to only do when you think you had the body you desire. Exercise, walk or dance and connect with your spirit through movement. The media has given you the impression that only thin people are beautiful enough to express themselves with their bodies, this is in reverse though, when you are willing to start expressing yourself now, the way you are, you will feel better and you will also be on your way to having a healthier mind and body.

 

Step 4: Watch your self-talk. Replace any mean or critical things you say to yourself with positive affirmations. Focus your attention consciously all the time on the things you already have and appreciate. Write in a gratitude journal every day and say some powerful affirmations to yourself. Be like a watchman of your thoughts and self-talk. If you spoke to a friend the way you speak to yourself sometimes, I am sure you would be offending and hurting them terribly, so offer yourself the same kindness you would your friends. Don’t pick on yourself! Meditate and breathe deeply in a quiet space with yourself and repeat the positive affirmations of self love and give thanks for all that you already have. Be grateful for your body and the beautiful experiences your body is serving to you.

 

Step 5: Love your body. Be aware of what you eat and drink during the course of the day. In these days where information is at your finger tips, it does not take a nutritionist to tell you what is good and healthy for you and what is not. Exercise and be active. Use your body and love it like your best friend. Give it what it needs and protect it from any abuse, physical, intake and bad talk. The above steps involve loving your body as it is right now. Not later.

 

 

How posture affects your looks by Malti Bhojwani Life Coach As Featured in The Times Of India

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments
How posture affects your looks by Malti Bhojwani As Featured Posture in The Times Of India

How posture affects your looks

 

When you have good posture, you walk with more ease and grace. Think of all the beautiful divas you see on the red carpet and the silver screen, boasting long lean necklines, head held straight, shoulders square, not shrugging up or slumped down.

 

Tummy tucked in, back slightly arched, this automatically gives you a tummy tuck, boob-job and leaner waist. Instantly you will feel and project an air of confidence and of being alert.

 

Just by standing or sitting up straight, you change your physiology to one of instant confidence. It is impossible to feel low or sad, when you are upright and smiling. Try it now. How did you feel? You can do this in front of a mirror for added value. You will portray confidence and enthusiasm that is very very attractive. Slouch, slump and frown and see how you look – disheartened, bored, tired, old and fat. Try this, breathe, hold your head up straight, tuck your tummy in and smile. Notice the difference? When you stretch and lengthen your back this way, you instantly look leaner as well.

 

Bad posture is just a bad habit

 

Some women have bad posture because they are shy about the size of their breasts, in this day and age when women are flying halfway across the world and spending thousands of dollars to go under the knife to get breast enhancements or at least buying the most maximiser push up bras they can find, it is time for you to stand tall and proud.

 

Most people who think they have a fat tummy are just not standing or sitting right. Commit to having a good posture by visualizing yourself standing tall, shoulder blades back, tummy tucked in and head up straight. I am a short woman at barely 5’1″ and improving my posture with my mum’s help when I was younger and Pilates now, I feel taller than I am.

Bad posture is just a bad habit and in life coaching, I say that you cannot break a habit, you have to replace it. So pick an exercise that you will be willing to commit to. It could be Pilates or even the Alexander Technique, a famous regime that can help strengthen core muscles and re-align the spine. Commit an hour a day to exercise. Practice. Constantly remind yourself to to stand up tall and pull your tummy into your spine and actually visualize it. See yourself always standing or sitting in good posture. It is not something you turn on and off when you know someone is watching; you have to practice it all the time.

 

Looking good is not just about your face

 

Your body carries your head. A beautiful body is not just about weight, it is about how you hold it and how it holds your head up. Your posture shows the world how you are feeling and your abilities.

Research was done years ago at the University of Louisville, where 60 people were asked to rate the appearance of two women in a series of pictures – in some they were slumping, in others they were standing up straight…. Consistently, viewers rated the women who were standing up straight to be younger and more attractive,” Some heavier ones were also perceived to be thinner just from the way they were standing in the pictures.

 

It is simple physics and optical illusions, when you scrunch, you make yourself look shorter and wider, and when you are straight and erect, you automatically look taller and thinner. A good posture helps you to radiate a sense of confidence.

 

How To Motivate Yourself Part 2 – Life Coach Malti Bhojwani

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments
Motivate2

In case you missed part 1 of her series, read that first before you proceed to the rest of Malti’s tried-and-tested tips on how to motivate yourself.

 

Getting Uncomfortable to Get Ahead

 

We all have excuses and reasons to feel “out of it” some days. We are affected by our moods, the weather, the tide, the moon’s phases, planet alignments, what we ate or drank that day, whether we heard from the girl we’re infatuated with, our weight, the stock market, the traffic or even a pimple! Everything affects our mood, but it is important to stay focused on what we want.

 

All in all, it is normal to feel a little low and out of it sometimes. It’s just means it’s time to shake things up a bit. When you are feeling bored and complacent, you need to do that little bit more and get uncomfortable. Changing your surroundings or the way you do things is a great way to stimulate your mind to come up with more ideas. It’s like a muscle that needs to work a little harder; you just need to kick it into gear so it can starting firing the neurotransmitters that stimulate creativity.

 

Drive a different route to work, wear your watch on the other hand, or even try eating or texting with your other hand. Make efforts to meet different people, approach the ones that make you uncomfortable, or strike up a conversation with a colleague that you have never spoken to. New conversations and new paths give you the opportunity to turn off your own mental chatter, which thrives when things are “normal.” This will force you to relate, see and think differently.

 

Comfort is Your Enemy

 

When you are too comfortable, you have probably already achieved many of your desires and goals, and you are so used to doing the same thing week in and week out that there is no motivation to deviate from the routine. At work, when you are only doing what comes naturally and what is expected of you in order to “get-by,” you are not stretching yourself and definitely not growing.I see “discomfort” as an opportunity.

 

Often when I feel a little uncomfortable or lazy to do something that rationally I know could be good for me, I know that I need to stretch myself. We only grow when we break out of our comfort zones. Just like at the gym, you know that only when an exercise is a little hard to do that you are actually working the muscle.

Another example is going for a run even when it’s drizzling or overcast. This means that your commitment to staying fit and healthy is much stronger than your need to stay comfortable and dry at home. You are not letting excuses run your life!

 

What You Resist the Most is Often the Best Thing for You

 

If it’s too easy to do and you are too comfortable, you are still only staying within your comfort zone. This is a sure sign that you are not stretching yourself and therefore, not growing. On the other hand, if you find that you come up against some resistance to do something everyday (within reasonable limits, of course), then that’s exactly the thing you ought to be doing.

 

For example, I often dread getting dressed up and going out on weeknights for networking evenings. But I know that they will enhance my work life, not to mention I might meet interesting people. In fact, every time I have ended up at an event that I previously resisted going to, I have met at least one person who has enriched my life either through the conversation we’ve had or the work they do. My point is, what I resist most is what I need to do in order to not be complacent.

So get uncomfortable and stretch yourself!

 

Note: We all have different pain and comfort thresholds. Pay attention to your instincts. If something feels wrong, too hard and too painful, check to see if maybe it is wrong, dangerous or unwise for you to do it.

 

How To Motivate Yourself Part 1 by Malti Bhojwani

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

 

How To Motivate Yourself Part 1

Seeing Progress

 

It’s important to educate yourself before being successful at anything. There are two types of motivation: ‘towards’ and ‘away from’. The former involves motivating oneself to move towards a desirable place, while the latter involves situations where one is desperate to distance oneself from, or get ‘away from’ an undesirable place. For example, trying to work towards a promotion would be ‘towards’, and attempting to quit smoking or lose weight would be ‘away from’ motivation.

 

Both these techniques work, but ‘towards’ motivation lasts longer and is empowering as you are focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want.

 

 

Step One: Declare Your Wants

 

Envison this. I ask you not to think of a blue ball, yet the first image that pops into your mind is one of a blue ball! It’s basically impossible to avoid thinking about something without thinking of it first. Therefore, you should realize that your thoughts will always work towards bringing what you think about the most into your reality–even if you are thinking about not wanting that particular thing or state of being.

 

And so we come to the first step: always declare what you want. This is usually simple, because it is most often the exact opposite of what you don’t want.

 

 

Why This Works

 

For ‘towards’ motivation to work, you have to be able to see and monitor your progress. If you feel like you are working very hard and running very fast, but it still looks like everything around you is the same, you will feel a bit like a hamster running in a wheel, only to come out and see that it hasn’t moved at all. This can be extremely demotivating.

 

So what can you do to access your progress?

 

 

Step Two: Track Your Progress

 

-Pick three things that you want to achieve in the next three months. Break these into small tasks that can be achieved on a daily basis and will ensure that you reach your ultimate goal. For example, if you want to increase your client base from 20 to 30 in three months, you need to add about 3 every month. Break that down to include some strategies that you have used in the past that have clearly worked and can be done daily.

 

-Set up a timetable and a daily checklist. Work through it and tick the checklist when you have completed each task. The idea is to form a daily routine that will keep you on track to getting where you want to be.

 

 

Why This Works

 

What you are doing here is making your progress measurable. This will surely boost your confidence, which in turn will motivate you as you will see yourself getting closer to your goals.

 

 

It’s Not Easy

 

In conclusion, I would like to make it clear that all of the steps above are easier said than done, yet entirely possible.

 

“I started learning to swim recently and my instructor made me wear flippers. They were great, because they helped me move really fast. When he finally got me to swim without them, I felt so incompetent–like I was not moving at all–that this disheartened me. I needed to SEE that I was indeed moving. So he got me to look at my reflection in the window and reminded me to turn around and look back to see how far I had indeed traveled.”

 

Getting and staying motivated to always keep growing, learning, and evolving is easy as soon as you have your desires clear in front of you.

 

When you know what you want out of your life, what experiences you want to taste, what you want to do for the people around you, and what you want to enjoy yourself, you will be able to dangle that carrot in front of yourself and keep the ‘towards’ motivation activated.

 

Seeing progress, however small at first–from ticking the checkboxes to seeing the weight go down on the scales–is visual evidence that you are indeed making headway. Plus, you’ll enjoy the small benefits of completing all these little tasks–and they do all add up!

 

If you find it challenging to do this yourself, declare your desires to a friend, or better yet, a coach. Then have them hold you accountable to do the things you need to every single day in order to ultimately have what you want. Follow these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed of!

 

 

Watch out for Part 2 of Malti’s post, featuring even more tips…Hamster

Seven Deadly Sins – Which one is your saviour from the others? By Malti Bhojw

July 4, 2013  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments

7Sinsani

 

Yes they are sins when viewed independently and the path to spiritual enlightenment would require that we shed ourselves of all sins and embody the polar opposite of the sin.

 

So what are they? Traditionally, they are:

Vanity (Pride), Greed (Selfishness), Gluttony, Envy, Lust, Sloth (Laziness), Wrath (Anger)

 

In my opinion 2 of these sins are actually great to have as long as they are in moderation and directed to the betterment of our lives. Like Greed & Vanity  – both will drive you towards being the best that you can be. The key word though is moderation.

 

Greed – Many cultures and religions have taught us that it is selfish or greedy to have desires. We have been conditioned to think that wanting too much for ourselves is wrong. The paradox is that without desire, we cannot be successful. When we are striving for desires that will give us what we want and enrich the lives of the people around us directly or indirectly, the Universe works with us to manifest it.

 

As there are varying degrees of selfishness and greed not all are bad or evil. In some ways being selfish is taking responsibility for your ‘self’ and your life. Taking ownership of yourself and creating the life you desire is ultimately more satisfying than seeing yourself as a victim to circumstance and powerlessly blaming others for the state of your life which would be another sin – sloth.

 

As a life coach, when working towards a client’s goals, often their resistance to action is caused by a personal obstacle, which boils down to a deadly sin. When it is holding you back from getting the results you want in your life, then you have to find ways to manage these sins. Often they are just bad automatic habits. Once you are aware of what you really want, then you can identify the sin and manage it in order to get closer to your desires.

 

Vanity x Humility – this one is true to me, mine is Vanity. I am actually a glutton, being obese when I was growing up, then luckily for me Vanity stepped in and I managed to shed the kilos and now keep them off despite my absolute love for food and wine. I realized that if it weren’t for my “Vanity” I would be a gluttonous sloth! I don’t eat out of hunger, I could eat all day if I were not Vain.

Vanity and Pride can also be viewed as “self-love” without which we can’t love another. Taking pride in ourselves and having some vanity is empowering.

 

Conquer Greed by being more generous and giving of our possessions and ideas.

Envy – by being appreciative of what others have rather than angry or jealous that they have it. In fact the Law of Attraction states that if you are envious of what others have, by placing that negative emotion on that person or thing, you will block it’s path towards you. So the more you appreciate what others have and less envious you are, you will attract more abundance into your own life! Some people go around annoyed when others even have what they have, “How can he afford a Benz?”. “When did she start buying Laboutins?” This is only re-enforcing your own “lack” mentality which is the direct oppostite of an “abundance mentality”. In order to attract more of what you want into your life, you have to trust that there is plenty of the good stuff out there for all of us, and some. And truly appreciating it when others have what you don’t have, will bring you closer to having some yourself.

 

Wrath/Anger – well all this does is gets you to react in a way that is not aligned with what you want to create in your life and relationships. Kindness and patience would be the attributes to practice. This one is a big bad sin and can really cause many obstacles in your achieving the life of your dreams. Anger is usually a way for many of us to express the underlying sadness or pain. Our needs are not being met and so we get angry. Take the time to get to the bottom of it and learn to communicate out of vulnerability and love. With your anger you can destroy a lot of work and damage many relationships not to mention hurt people that you care about or want to work with. The coaching tool used here is called “Respond vs. react”. Between the event that causes the automatic “anger”, wait and breathe, in that space create the opportunity to choose a response that will bring you loser to what you really want to achieve, then carefully choose a response. Responses are chosen, reactions are automatic and can sometimes be detrimental! Vanity and Greed can save you from this one.

Greed or desire to have good things in life, and vanity and pride to look good will save you from burning bridges and getting violent.

 

Lust & Gluttony would be best managed with self-control and being discerning. Think of the long-term pleasure you seeking rather than the “quick fix” same for Gluttony. What do you really want, like really really want, often Lust and Gluttony are just a way for “instant gratification” when what you truly desire is something else bigger and more satisfying. When youa say you are looking to attract and build a lasting and satisfying relationship, indulging in mindless sex could be what is keeping love elusive to you. As they say, “Those who indulge, bulge” In my case, my Vanity, “to look my best” is what keeps me from indulging too much in the finer things in life like cheese!

 

Sloth – This is laziness, to me this is the worst sin, because it keeps you from contributing to yourself, and to the world and it is the mindset that someone else is there to pickup after me or to carry my weight. Fight this one with enthusiasm and energy. I find the more energy I use, the more I have.

 

What’s your sin?

 

Malti Bhojwani

Life Coach & Founder

Multi Coaching International