Q & A – “Don’t Think of a Blue Ball” – Ch 1 – Qtn 1

I have been receiving countless emails and facebook messages with Questions on how to really practice being able to turn your life around and live the life of your dreams using what I have shared in “Don’t Think of A Blue Ball” So I have decided to post some of these questions here and answer them here as well to support you. I have kept them anonymous and in some cases, I have merged a couple of questions together to address them in the one answer. As they questions are numerous, please bear with me while I work through them and I am planning to address them in Chapter order. 🙂

Chapter 1  Quote: 

“The more I told my collection of ‘sad stories’ and repeated the incidents to the people in my life, the more they perpetuated. I was focusing on all the things that were wrong about my life and how these could not get any worse, but without realizing, it was this thinking that attracted more of the same disappointment.  The more I complained, the more I had to complain about. I sounded like a broken record and had become my own worst companion.

‘I’ was the problem. I was manifesting all the troubles in my life. Does it sound familiar?”

Question:

“But Malti, how do I change my story, how do I stop complaining, I really don’t mean to, but life has been so shitty lately….tight on money, gaining weight, I’m being evicted-they want to increase my rent so I need to move out, I’m owed money that hasn’t come in, I have debts….and it just feels so awful, in fact the only that is working now is my relationship, but I don’t want to lie or fake it, how do I stop complaining when things are just so so hard???” “How Malti?”.

Author’s Comment:

Well…. I KNOW it’s hard, because we are so so used to complaining and repeating the stuff that’s upsetting us and worrying us, but like I mention in Chapter 1, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Do what you have always done and you will have the same results, nothing will change! I know it feels so uncomfortable to not worry and complain when things seem so so hard, but before I go on to explain more than this, I want you to TRUST me and believe me, “Nothing is every as hard or as bad as it appears to you!”

Back to the “HOW?”

Initially you will catch yourself and you may have to just sit silent for a few minutes, it will feel very uncomfortable as this is not familiar to those of you who are always rattling to others or even to yourselves all the things that are not right about your life.  From this space of silence, wait and look at something that is good, one area of your life that is going well or one thing to be grateful for and then talk about THAT! Secondly, stop talking so much, I often say to myself, “WAIT!” Why Am I Talking – W.A.I.T? Allow others to share with you a little more, when you truly listen, you will 1) give that person a gift that you probably haven’t given them in a long long time and 2) You will better understand what their needs are and maybe find ways to help them, and thirdly, your issues may not seem so bad anymore!

I know you will say to me, but but but Malti, these are real problems, I have real rent to pay and no money to pay it with, so my questions to you are these:

Haven’t you been in a very similar situation before?

Didn’t you manage somehow to get through it as if by magic?

If that does not build your own faith, then what will?

You will not be faking it or lying, you will be choosing your thoughts and your words carefully. Monitoring that you are not perpetuating the same crap in your life, instead in your case, you could choose to talk about and revel in the love that you are experiencing in your relationship and allow that OPEN valve to embrace you in all the other areas of your life, take the “happiness” from your relationship and pour it over all of you, instead of taking the worry, pain, sadness, fears from all the other areas and clouding the beautiful relationship you are in. I will let you in on a secret, some of the most wealthiest people I know, who I have worked with and they have shared with me, are so miserable and lonely, so unfulfilled and sad because despite having all the money in the world, they don’t have that one person to love and be loved by. So my dear, you are wealthier than most, and when you truly truly start to see that, money too will pour on you. 

With love and gratitude for your trust and openness,

Malti

Jack Canfield,
Ivan Misner
Les Hewitt
Bob Urichuck